the-sexylosers-club:

mcpeace323:

Stretch marks? 

You mean sick ass lightning tattoos 

Best description I’ve ever heard

todallison:

this vine is better than all of paranormal activity

teamrocketing:

how do you get a stranger in public to fall in love with you

fasterfood:

when u hold the door open for someone and they dont say thank you

image

heatoise:

*sees a cat*

me: holy shit

Anonymous said: you two have the worst love story i have ever heard of. shame.

cavalieravocado:

parkingstrange:

You win the internet for ‘best gif use’

teenscoolest:

Two rules for succes

  • Never tell people everything you know

zooeyclairedeschanel:

i found my new favorite twitter

the only reason i would be upset that i had a gay child is that at one point they would encounter people like you
my grandma to my homophobic grandma (via ellendenotsogeneres)
fowllanguagecomics:

Whereas any real, self-respecting dad is only derpy, like, 50% of the time.

fowllanguagecomics:

Whereas any real, self-respecting dad is only derpy, like, 50% of the time.